LYME DISEASE CHIC
Well, as a joke I told Giani that they ought to make ear rings to resemble ticks. Might be popular with Goths, or bug chasers. She said she'd had that idea as well, and they would be stud ear rings, not loop. I furthered the idea, that if a person wears such an earring, they should have several, each showing a tick being in a different stage of blood bloat.

Her idea was to use real ticks dipped in some form of plastic and sold that way. It might be difficult to obtain the bloated ones, since trying to use a dog as a tick farm would be considered cruelty, and the larger ones might ferment from the inside, causing some form of disgust (if you're using your imagination right now, you can understand.)

ON BAD FILMS: BLOOD FREAK is given a promo on the box about its being the "world's only turkey-monster-anti-drug-pro-Jesus gore film". And on the bottom of the box reads: "WARNING: This program contains nudity, sexual situations, violence and gobbling." From SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEOS

WHAT IS THE WORST FILM...?
Back when I did a paper zine, I got many repsonses for asking what is the worst SF film you have even seen? For the most part, people had some opinions, any there were a few that didn't match others, probably because the intersections of media were different then, and people could only see what was offered on TV in the prehistoric days before cable, VHS and DVD. George Wells was asking this question, suggesting a recent entry, MAMMOTH, that he saw on cable. Then Ned Brooks suggests BARN OF THE BLOOD LAMA, both films I'd never seen or heard of. I point out that BLOOD FREAK is dreadful in many ways, since its about a man who eats radioactive turkey meat, turns into a freak with a turkey head and can only live if he drinks the blood of pot smokers. The director of this film felt that his creation--an anti dope, anti communist, pro Christian film, did not get the exposure it deserved. The DVD has extras, and interviews, so this is definitely one strange, very bad picture, which is given strange treatment with the DVD extras. George Wells didn't believe the other entries in the bad film universe QUEEN KONG or JESUS CHRIST, VAMPIRE HUNTER existed. Proof? There you are. Clearly, the topic can be expanded upon and on, so..

TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE got my vote years ago, but now I'm not so sure. This flick was put into the theaters because the distributers could make money on it because it was already made, as it was someone's home movie. That alone gets it a tinge of respect.

PUNK COW UDDER
So I thought...

I was up at 4 AM. When I got to deal with the water bed, I could not find the adapter, which is needed to attatch to the bag. Later in the morning I concluded a relative who'd lived here briefly had thrown it away when cleaning up (if he didn't know what it was, no one else knew either). And still later, there wasn't any store listed in Kent County that carried water bags. I had to go to New Castle County. Still later, the drill pump I had didn't work. It's replacement (and more driving around) was filled with petrolium jelly to keep customers wondering.I could not get any water to move down the hose and into the bathtub. I found this out only after a half hour of wondering if I had bought a defective piece of equipement and had to drive out to replace it.

The large problem with water beds is moving the bag when it won't drain anymore. This might mean it will have ten to twenty gallons of water inside, and it will resist moving. I grabbed yanked shoved pulled hit cussed and repeated this exercise about twenty times.I had gotten it out of the bed frame. I decided not to move it the 100 feet or so to the other side of the house, but to deposit it in the bathtub.Another half hour passed with more pulling and yanking and pushing and shoving anf cussing. I added kicking to this list. Once in the tub,I relaxed. The draining hole was not on the bottom, but at the top. Chanting "Die Monster die!" I got a butcher knife and sliced it open. The water poured out. I was happy. I rekilled it several times over the course of the day.

The bag leaked. One time before my son decided to see what the deal was and poked a pen through the plastic. He was two. Attempts at sealing the bag resulted in leaks that came out over the patches placed over the patches placed over the original puncture. Of course, the manual for these that says : "Drain bag and dry it out," which could take weeks.

So we know why Water beds are not seen in overwhelming numbers in society.

Still more notes of Details to Follow.... Laura's ex whatever did try to run her off the road in his car, forgot that she always carries a cell phone with her and had a witness in the car and was shortly arrested after a 911 call. Let's see: another court date for some people in this family.

Leo's day in court to to confront and bear witness against the fellow student who punched him in the nose bore the guilty charge. This kid was to have gone through his third year in the seventh grade. I have no idea how many years he spent in the sixth (this is a Southern State). During testimony, Leo reported the detail of why he was being stalked by this kid: "He said I swallowed a penny, so I must be gay." At that statement his mother leaned back a bit to look at me, while she and her son shared a decent chuckle.

Six months probation, anger managment courses, repaying the time I spent hanging around the court (for two days--she and the kid didn't show up for the first hearing), finding a school that will take this lad, etc.

Leo and I had a better chuckle.

The cat has managed to deal with being back and living in the garage. Too bad I can't get him to push the mower.

The water bed is leaking, so I have to deal with that later on this day. I've often reflected that the removing of a mattress once the water has been removed is very much like trying to move a large animal with all the bones removed, and it will absolutely not help you.

If you stumble accross these postings and wish to respond, and are not a member of the collective, please send e mail quips and comments to: rsiriuse@aol.com

thanks...

May as well publish my old cartoons, done when I was trying to sell something somewhere somehow, anyhow...

HERESY HERE


THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME
92 MINUTES
Starring Mike Jittlov. Written by Mike Jittlov, Directed by Mike Jittlov.

VHS format. There was a Laser disc, but it is now largely unavailable, even on eBay. The flick has a minor cult following.

I've decided that THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME is not that good a film.,

I think it could have been much better, even given its shoe string budget.

The problem with it is that it gets Mike Jittlov out of the garage where he's spent all of his creative time and tries to move him into the real world. The real world burnt Jittlov's feelings, and he has withdrawn from creative work. As he did not get a dime or two at the completion of this movie.

It's okay. It's hokey, but after a few viewings I concluded it is emotionally shallow. What can you expect from a guy who won't shake hands? All of the human elements in the film seem stressed and contrived almost a foot note to Jittlov's creative efforts. And whenever the live action stops and the animation steps in, the film seems to really live and be worth watching. Too many pots shots are taken towards the film industry. Too many in jokes limit viewers.

I'd like to see a DVD of the film, though. A double DVD set, the second DVD filled with his complete short subjects, or as many of them as can be crammed into a disc. Interviews. Story boards. Pictures. Cartoons.

Don't think I'll be seeing it soon. Sources tell me that since Mike Jittlov was burned inwardly from his efforts, he's withdrawn creatively and has been playing martyr.

Frustrating only because there's subliminal frame in the flick that says "Mike Jittlov can do anything!" Except grow up, and move on. You can't build a career on bitterness.


***
Paul Krassner has admited to creating the frozen Walt Disney story. That he would be thawed out and revivied in the future when they could deal with lung cancer...

However, he asserts the following is true: A worker at the morgue propped up Uncle Walt in a chair and did a dance routine in front of the body.

The worker later added to his resume' that he "auditioned for Walt Disney".



Saturday