How to Cat Bowl: Get a laser pointer. Have a set of toy pins. And one cat. Set up the pins and turn on the laser pointed and get the cat so involved with attacking the light spot he isn't observing what it is doing. Speed light to ten pins. Get score. Repeat.

A man I once knew name Kurt S. lived in Newark. He was frequently drunk and/or stoned. One day he found a five dollar bill and bought some Budweiser Tall Boys with it. He got to "thinking" and decided to dig up a few extra quarters and some duct tape and went to the laundromat. He found a dryer that had a window and taped the two cans of beer he had left to the inside of the dryer. He used the quarters and sat back and waited.

"They shot their load," he said. But I wasn't prepared for the smell it produced. Like a brewery."

Nice times in the late 70's.

This Halloween past here was a performance artist in New York City who gave out pictures of apples. One of the apples had a razor blade taped to it.

update on eyesight:

  The doctor said the eyesight will improve over time, but it would never get back to normal. I have noticed some clarity, some improvement, but not enough to distinguish how many fingers are being held up.

    One thing noticed while driving. It all seems new. The route I take to work doesn't feel familiar, as if there is a new memory being made, not an old one being used. Is memory binocular? I mean, does it work that way? 

SUE ME, LINDSAY LOHAN

Sue me Lindsay Loham

Sue Me. Sue me.

For saying things already known.

Sue me. Sue me.

You can’t stay sober in a bar.

Its a wonder you got this far.

Sooo famous and rich.

You qualify as an “A” list bitch.

Sue me. Sue me.

Caught on camera stealing stuff

You thought you’d give that a whirl.

You ain’t no mean girl

Your ego is riding  big

But you’re just a tabloid fodder pig. 

Freaky Friday was your best, 

Those laurels are now dead and at rest

‘cause chugging down that wine

Gives you the courage to take that drive

going home DUI.

Have a fender bender

the police will arrive.

 Sue me, sue me.

Sue me Lindsay Lohan

Because you ask the officers again and again,

“Don’t you know who I am?”

Sue me Lindsay Lohan.

I can’t let this go,

You’re stoned on your fame

I want you to sue me

So I can have some of the same.

Sue me. Sue me.

Sue me Lindsay Lohan.

Robert Whitaker Sirignano

24 August 2011

t This is the cover for H. Allen Smith's book. The cover is pretty hard to find. I've encountered a few people who want at least to see it. The gag within was that there existed a house in Hollywood where, when a partier had far too much to drink and passed out, he would be dropped into this room and allowed to recover. Sometimes pigeons dyed in soothing red and blue colors would be released. The cover has not been reprinted, and when a collection of Charles Addams "Family cartoons" was issued, this was the big ommission.

The phones are still out, thank you Verizon. I note their websites have many opening for sales pitches and the one for complaints has to be searched for.

Cartoonfootprint.blogspot.com