SCAMPY (Things We've learned)

We have this dog, and he is interested in cats. He'll chase them, and when he catches them, he tries to hump them. They swat him in the face.

The three out door cats have taken to sitting on the steps out in the garage where the kitchen door opens out. They sit on the steps. This frustrates the dog who scratches at the door endlessly. He has taken the paint off.

Giani decided if he was going to do that, it might be useful if he persistence was doing something else. She found some extra tough sandpaper and glued it to the door, so when the dog is trying to get at the cats, he trims his nails.

60 YEARS LATER Coming Through the Rye by John David California WindupBird Publishing, England. 2009

I did finally get around to reading this, which is a decent book, but when one does a parody of a book, it should be shorter, not longer than the original.

Anyway, Holden Caufield wakes up in an old folks home and still thinks he's sixteen. He decides to go back to New York City. This does sound a little absurd, the the author is trying to make a point about the writer's character has outstripped the author.

The style is fairly good at replicating the nuances of the model, and quite well, considering the writer's has English as a second language. What points the writer makes are over stressed.

Again, this kind of book didn't need to be CATCHER IN THE RYE. Several other writers could have been used where the creations overshadowed the creator. Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert E. Howard, L. Frank Baum, and any number of others.

And in a sense, this has been done in a different manner with Flann O'Brien's AT SWIM TWO BIRDS, which is a writers who is writing about a group of characters (including Finn McCool and the Easter Bunny) who get annoyed with him and begin controlling him by writing about him. The writer stays in bed a lot.

The real author of this book did himself a disservice by writing under a pen name and reviewing his work on Amazon.com.Uk and giving it a five star review. The circularity of the review and novel did not go unnoticed.

Of course, J.D. Salinger is pissed and the novel is banned in the USA.

Someone could do a collection of the shorter parodies of Salinger that have appeared over the years.

DELAWARE ROADSIDE KITSCH: ANALTEC...is it really better than Anal Retentive? Just asking...

located on Route 72, Newark Delaware. Northbound.

Amusing people in Delaware for years. I dunno what they do there. I'm not interested, Apparently someone has hit the sign.

As some of you know, Marge Simpson is the cover girl on this month's PLAYBOY. And a spread. And an interview. I don't want to read it.

I mean here are the journalists who work for years refining their craft and get called on to write an interview for what is, essentially, an imaginary character. Journalists write fiction? Isn't that a kind of lie?

On the other hand, I've stumbled across a few web sites where the question being asked is: who would you rather sleep with Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble?

Of course a few oddballs would like to sleep with Barney...

And when I wrote back and suggested they find something real to have a discussion with,
I found them taking the whole issue really seriously, and they were very offended.

Anyway, the net allows you to be different.

TOE NAIL NOTES

The announcement that the NRA and NABMLA would join forces. Was this inevitable? How will it further the goals of either organization?

Stephen King's "Destroy all the trees" campaign came to light again, as his next novel will contain 1000 plus pages. He will be joined by Sarah Palin who "memoriories" will escape the rejected manuscript pile sometime in November.

King's new novel is called UNDER THE DOME, which will attempt to take a half hour TWILIGHT ZONE style idea and bulk it up. Rod Serling on steroids.

I suggest that, IF YOU MUST, read these things, wait a few weeks and they'll show up in remainder bins and Goodwill at vastly reduced prices.

By the way, the reason Stephen King's son Joe adopted a pen name was not so much he didn't want to be identified with Daddy, but because he felt he wouldn't do well being known as "Joe King". TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY, folks.

They have found Obama's birth certificate. It is in George's Bush's library, next to that big pile of WEAPONS OF MASS DESTURCTION, and the pile of Bush's coloring books he wasn't able to finish. And that pile of drunken driving citations his Daddy got him out of.

FILMS THAT WOULD BE IMPROVED BY THE ADDITION OF A FLESH EATING ZOMBIE:

G FORCE
ECKS VERSUS SEVER
THE WIZ
PAINT YOUR WAGON
THE ROOM
BATTLEFIELD EARTH
SNAKES ON A PLANE
G.I.JOE
any Eddie Murphy film from the past decade
And Whoopie Goldberg film from the last decade.
LEGALLY BLONDE 2

By the way, when I was watching the second TRANSFORMER movie, there was a scene where a giant robot is tearing apart one of the pyramids. A camera shot strays over to the Sphinx, and on the Sphinx is a pigeon. They didn't blip out the creature. And it was also just the wrong size. If it was in perspective, it would be about 10 feet high....

I got a good laugh out of this, just like I did in ANDACONDA, where the waterfall is going uphill....

Jokes no one wants to hear.....


How do you castrate a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Just in case you forgot what we look like....

Ah welll....

VP usta wanna be Sarah Palin had wroted a book. It currently is on Amazon.com's list of #1 best sellers, even though it has not yet been allowed to escape.

Then former President George W. Bush will wrote up his book and it too will escape. I wonder if Bush will clarify his language so it resembles English?

Bush isn't doing a full treatment of his life, but will concentrate on his "Decider" "image". So we won't be reading about how many DUI's there really were, or where he was when he was AWOL. Or if he really snorted cocaine, or was known as the worst cheerleader in Yale.

LAWSUIT POTENTIAL

I recently watched the movie TROLL, while it is not the best of efforts, it's kind of fun.

But most importantly, it has a character in it named HARRY POTTER. If this wasn't bad enough, there's also a HARRY POTTER junior!!!!!


Who can I sue?

QUANTUM PHYSICS OBSERVER EFFECT DEMONSTRATED


Show the film PLAN NINE FROM OUT SPACE to people. Afterwards, the discussion of what is was/is can be gotten from the observers of the film, who will not be in total agreement about what was just seen.

Some will consider it trash.

Others might be amused by it.

Some will cringe from it.

Someone who likes it was probably stoned, drunk or 5 years old.

Each person will consider their viewpoint the correct one. The observer carried within his/her self their own dictates, experiences, concerns and expectations. Thusly, they will not be having the same kind of viewing experience that others in the room will have.

In this fashion, demonstrations of how art can teach us how science works.

Class dismissed.