INCOMING E MESSAGE

George W. Bush has been running our country just like one of those families that maintain the appearance of prosperity by maxing out the credit cards and living from paycheck to paycheck. And just like families, all it takes is one domestic disaster--a car accident--a hospitalization--a layoff--to bring it all down.

New Orleans may be Bush's car crash.

Ivan McAleister
Druid at large

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Maybe. He still has his office weasels and spin doctors, who try to give substance to what few ideas he has.

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Incoming mail:

Hi,

I'm a dull as a lump of sand. I know this. I got my ideas from watching bricks dry after being painted. I watched for hours. Maybe it was the smell. But I put it together and created my designs. They're everywhere.

Tommy Hillfungus
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USEFUL HOUSEHOLD HINTS

Do not microwave blue cheese. It tends to release all the odor that the cheese contains and presents it to the atmosphere in a fine mist. You might need to open your windows.

Do not microwave clams or oysters in the shell. They explode.

An attempt to microwave four scrambled eggs resulted in the mass exploding in the stove, with a mysterious pop, and a resulting mess I had to clean up.

Do not microwave a Durian.