persona non sequitur

a review of media by a slightly jaded baby boomer.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006



Robert Whitaker Sirignano

Slightly revised from its original appearance…

Script attempt #73

This is a simple outline.

The Predator (or something to be called a "Trophy Hunter") has seen far too much Earth based television programming, and with a question on his mind (since he thinks the programs are documentries) and goes to visit Marvin the Martian.

Marvin tells him that nothing on the planet Earth has ever caught a road runner. That’s all the Predator needs to hear. He flies his space ship into the American Southwest.

He sets up an elaborate device he has purchased from "Acme Intergalactic" in an effort to catch the elusive bird. Coyote chases bird. Bird stops. Bird looks in device. Bird dodges coyote, and coyote falls into device. Predator catches a nosey coyote. In an effort to free the coyote, the trap shocks the alien.

Or: Coyote places large rubber band across the road, bird runs by, disturbs a running Predator who hits rubber band and goes sailing into the sky, falls on his space ship, sets off a rocket that hits the coyote.

All efforts by the Predator to catch the bird are interrupted by the coyote, all which backfire onto the Predator. All coyote’s efforts backfire on the Predator and the coyote.

After a few skirmishes, the Predator has developed a large hatred for the coyote, and begins to set out to trap him. The end shot frame set is back to Marvin the Martian, watching a television set and who has been shooting and recording the sequence of events.

He says "Isn’t it lovely? I know I’ll watch it more than once."

That’s all folks.

PS: from 2005. Written several years ago after hearing reports of comic books and video games based on "Alien versus Predator", and I developed a mean streak about who the "Predator" should meet: Ewoks, the Olsen Twins, David Hasselhoff, some con committee members, Rod Stewart, Carrot Top, Joan Rivers….pure formula even with the forgone but satisfying ending.

I also wrote a nice outline to submit to the DC Comic's LOONEY TUNES comic, but discovered they don't accept outside contributions. If you see this guys and want to use it, let me know.

Launched my thinking into movie sequels and found no one was interested in my treatment for HONEY I FREEZE DRIED THE CHILDREN, or REANAMATOR: THE BARNEY FACTOR. I guess you can undertstand my my movie screen writing career isn't going anywhere.


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