GEICO LIZARD SLATED FOR EXTINCTION....

A United Nations spokesman recently released a report on the Geico lizard, noting that even as an almost extinct species, it has no merit, and if the Geico company ceased to exploit it, the premiums that the car insurance holders paid would drop 50%. "It's an unavoidable conclusion," said the report. "Geico never says what its company actually does, and knocking off the lizard would bring back focus." The UN report declined to comment on the recent "cave-men" who are showing up in commercials, but noted that "they could be institutionalized, or stuffed and mounted."