persona non sequitur

a review of media by a slightly jaded baby boomer.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


HOW TO TRAIN OLD DOGS

If you’re just an average Joe and you like your dogs and you want to eat with your dog around, but do not like the eyeballing and begging and snout attacks (dog gets under your elbow and pokes upward with a cold damp nose), simply purchase a bottle of hot sauce.

Even if you do not like hot sauce, buy one. Open it up and make sure it is pungent enough to make you wince.

When you eat , simply open it up and tell the mutt “You can have all you want.” Wave it around and smile. Let the dog smell it up close. This will get you very strange looks. Our dogs just sit there and roll their eyes upward and a body language styling of “oh, no not again!”

After many repetitions of this, the dogs will start to cringe if you posit a catsup bottle.

When we have visitors who stop over and have a meal with us, we give them the hot pepper sauce bottles. “I don’t use this,” they will say. “It’s for them, “ and we indicate the dogs. And we explain briefly.

It works for us.

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