EXPLAINING THE COMICS

I don't know if anyone really cares about THE LOCKHORNS, since it's a small panel tethered away in a lower left or right handed corner of a lot of newspapers' comic section. It is not smart or savvy or illuminating. It looks back on older traditions that men and women were different species. It annoys me. I always thought that the only punchline ever needed was "I hate you and wish you were dead." Since it is quite clear they loathe each other. Why are they still married? Maybe they're old school catholics? No one else would have them? At least they haven't had children, otherwise American comic strip readers would be subjected to small daily windows of child abuse.

More unsettling is that there are people who sit themselves down day by day and write and draw this up. I am thinking of the case of Chester Tinsley, who used to draw "Chester the Molester" for HUSTLER magazine and is now serving a long term in prison for his pederastic inclinations. I hope the two that produce this aren't married to each other. "Hey," one of them says, "How about if they say they hate each other simultaneously?"

Even more absurd, you can purchase Lockhorns products, like t shirts and posters from CafePress. Unsettling is the smiling Lockhorns on the opening page, as if they'd both pulled an O. Henry styled poisoning of each other and could not contain their glee. Want to say I love you to that someone special? Give them the gift of The Lockhorn's on a coffee mug. In their face.